Saturday, April 7, 2012
Dear Empire Players
Dearest Empire Players,
We of the Wood Elf and Beastmen community are so sorry to hear about what happened to your army with the new book. We are so sorry about the appropriate readjustment ..er.. I mean "nerf" to your already ridiculous access to warmachines. We are so sorry to learn that you not only gained Monstrous Cavalry that have a 1+ armor save but also gained another excellent cavalry unit that's Stubborn to further add amazing synergy with the new units. We are so sorry to learn that your ridiculously low priced core units were raised to appropriate levels and that your generals now provide the Lizardman "Cold-blooded" to their unit for break tests.
We are sorry to learn that your Steamtank is no longer auto-slain by spells like Purple Sun or Pit of Shades. We are also so sorry to learn that your new rare selections have provided you with mobile artillary and augment options that make any close combat army break into a cold sweat. We are so sorry you lost your ability to gain 2 -6 dispel dice or so automatically in a magic phase by virtue of spamming warrior priests. We are also sorry that your detachments gain the benefits/special rules of their parent unit.
We are so sorry that your army became even more balanced and versatile than ever. We are so sorry that you have to rely on intelligence and skill rather than bombarding your opponent from your deployment zone with almost as much artillery as Dwarfs get and gunlines. We are so sorry you gained access to not only dragons but also griffons and pegasi! So sorry that you have now gained so much versatility that you can handle any army! We are so sorry that you can take characters that exist solely to assassinate other characters for cheap. We are also sorry that your new rare selections are just as cheap as your other warmachines yet provided amazing benefits to the army.
It has to really suck to be an empire player right now and have a balanced army....
The Wood Elf and Beastmen community.
p.s. Stop whining, your book is awesome. Jackasses